A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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