I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
