she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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