Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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