i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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