ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
