Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
