Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
