I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
