Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
