I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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