She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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