I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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