Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
