so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
