wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
