hotel room ftw
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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