Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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