I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
