big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
