Quick, to the slutcave!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
