Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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