Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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