Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
