literally had 100 drinks last night.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
