it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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