I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize