apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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