Your tits are I can't wait for
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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