.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
