my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize