Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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