Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
