You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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