White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
