just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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