i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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