Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
