Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Non-Jews are for practice
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
