i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
