This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
