I think I am morally bankrupt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
