You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
