do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
