So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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