i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
