i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
