Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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