Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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