I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
