so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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