I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
