Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
