From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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