I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
