So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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