I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize