Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
