my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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