; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
