i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He passed out mid-signature
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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