i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
