Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
