There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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