nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't make out with my wife yet
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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