No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
