You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
