I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
MIDGETS
????
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize