Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I deserve this hangover.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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