if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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