i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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