Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
