You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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