i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
