She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
