Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
