So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
