Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
