if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
