I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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